is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
