It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
