I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
