ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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