There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
