she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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