Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
