At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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