last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize