Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Randomize
