u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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