i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
