Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
