are you still at the devil's house?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
