My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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