Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
