Dual....:-)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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