Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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