I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just forgot I was standing up.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
