Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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