so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize