So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
