ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
