You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
high people should be assigned attendants
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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