Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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