he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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