Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
