i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
