I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
