i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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