The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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