I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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