Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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