all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
