Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
