Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
