lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
