your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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