best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
