i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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