There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize