so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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