so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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