Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
