oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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