why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
