he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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