my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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