I cockslap morals
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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