don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
