You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
