and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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