please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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