I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
