I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
my liver is dry heaving
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
