Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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