and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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