The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I miss vodka workout Fridays
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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