PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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