Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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