my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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