dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize