We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
