i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
