i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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