He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
