it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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