Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
