I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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