Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
