So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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