So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
