I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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