dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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