I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
