I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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