Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize