you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
